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Type of bind: Paperback
Dewey Decimal Number: 150
EAN num: 9780060750527
ISBN number: 0060750529
Label: HarperOne
Manufacturer: HarperOne
Quantity: 1
Page Count: 336
Printing Date: January 01, 2005
Publishing house: HarperOne
Release Date: December 28, 2004
Sale Popularity Level: 83307
Studio: HarperOne
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Product Description:
Now in paperback, this practical guide to cultivating compassion delivers Buddhist and psychological insight right where we need it most—navigating the difficulties of our daily lives.
Compassion is often seen as a distant, altruistic ideal cultivated by saints, or as an unrealistic response of the naively kind-hearted. Seeing compassion in this way, we lose out on experiencing the transformative potential of one of our most neglected inner resources.
Dr Lorne Ladner rescues compassion from this marginalised view, showing how its practical application in our life can be a powerful force in achieving happiness. Combining the wisdom of Tibetan Buddhism and Western psychology, Ladner presents clear, effective practices for cultivating compassion in daily living.
Amazon.com Review:
For modern Westerners groomed to be competitive, insatiable, and as hyperactive as hamsters, The Lost Art of Compassion stops us dead in our frantic tracks. With a zenlike whack to the side of our heads, Ladner deftly applies the pragmatic methods of Buddhism to psychology, reminding us that genuine happiness won't come from our misdirected striving and craving. A clinical psychologist and longtime Tibetan practitioner, Ladner has written a deeply innovative and kind how-to guide that reclaims the foundations of authentic contentment and compassion. The Western practice of psychology has taught us to work with damaging emotions and patterns, but according to Ladner has not offered 'even one clear, practical, well-researched method for people to use to develop compassion.' In contrast, the Buddhist tradition of mind-training focuses on the steady cultivation of positive emotions and mental states such as affection, even-mindedness, empathy, gratitude, and especially compassion. By practicing, we not only free ourselves from negative emotions, but are moved to ease the human suffering around us that is fed by such emotions. Richly combining his years of clinical and spiritual work, Ladner offers 10 reflective practices that drill out 'the ego's calcifications' and distorting self images, opening the space for compassion. Emphasizing that 'you cannot give others what you do not have yourself,' his method gradually builds outward from establishing a secure self to caring for others. And, somehow, he does this without making us feel like we need to be Mother Teresa by subsequent week. Ladner has never forgotten how he once heard someone in Los Angeles ask the Dalai Lama 'what was the 'quickest and easiest' way to enlightenment.' The Dalai Lama bowed his head and began to cry. Not fast-food, Ladner's book is a gift of compassion in itself once anyone puts it to practice. --Deborah Easter
User popularity level:
Rated by buyers -
I underline the passages of books that are the key ideas within each section. This book has the most underlining of any book on Buddhism I have read, and that is quite a few. Ladner helped this thick headed westerner gain a deeper appreciation and realization of important Buddhist principles. It is also an enjoyable romp into the world of western psychology, made palatable by its lack of filler (typically endless "studies" done on undergrad students)and Ladner's deep appreciation for Buddhism's insights into human behavior, thought and psychology. A bonus is the last section where Ladner outlines each chapter of the book. GET THIS BOOK.
Rated by buyers -
I've read several books making Buddhist concepts accessible to Western/American readers -- and this is the best, the clearest, the most practically useful. It is also a book that would help followers of other faiths see the usefulness of Buddhist concepts and practices without threatening their present beliefs. In other words, this is a great book for Christians to read! It helps show many practical ways for all of us to become kinder, more accepting, more loving of others and ourselves. It also show us a way out of our own selfishness, our own fears about interacting with others. It could help marriages, families, relationships, friendships.
It is a wonderful book. I am sad to see that the bargain price suggests it hasn't sold well, but I am glad to see that its bargain price makes it easier for people to purchase. I have given more than one copy as a gift!
Read it!
Rated by buyers -
And it still blows my mind away! This book became my new bible at one point and really, it changed my life. I learned a lot from its user friendly approach... and while Im not able to practice everything it suggests I still strive for it.
I wouldnt call this a self help book persay... but an introduction to the brightest, most honest way of living anyone could endeavor with love in their hearts. Its not cheesy, its not super mystical, but practical and logical.
Compassion isnt something youre simply born with... but something you can grow into. Something you practice in any walk of life.
Rated by buyers -
Overall I would have to say this is an excellent book that combines principles of Psychology and Tibetan Buddhism with the focus on practices of compassion.
There are many techniques in this book that can help to cultivate compassion as well as insights and stories that help to illustrate his various ideas. For this I gave the book 5 stars.
That being said, There are times that the author seems to slide down a "slippery slope" into the worst sort of New Age thinking. For example, he seems to think that most difficulties in relationships are caused by one's own projections.
While one's inaccurate projections may be a part of many people's relationship dynamics, I think it is unrealistic to always assume that one's difficulties in relationships are based on this idea. This is an oversimplification of the reality of many situations and a poor endeavor to fit everything into a nice little box.
For example, I have many friends who were born into or married into families to whom conflict and negativity is the norm (though in the case of those who married into it their spouses may not indulge in this behavior but rather their spouse's families) and they became unwilling participants often as targets in this web of negativity. One may have compassion for why their aggressors developed such negative behavior, but to blame the recipient of this aggression by saying that somehow it is a manifestation of their own projections is absurd and not helpful. All this does is lead to unwarranted confusion and guilt in the person being victimized and traps them in a vicious cycle.
Sometimes in spite of their best efforts there is nothing they can do but "draw a line in the sand" and tell their aggressors that if they cross the line that they are no longer welcome. This can be the most compassionate thing one can do because that can stimulate the aggressor to look at themselves in the mirror and try to help themselves. These aggressors, if given free reign (like petty dictators), typically just get worse rather than better unless confronted firmly. It's almost like a power hungry person craving more power.
All that being said....
Overall, the material presented does offer many useful insights from ancient Tibetan Buddhist practices. If the Dalai Lama is an example of the fruits of these practices then one would have to be impressed by their potential.
Some of the practices described here are also described in the book "Awakening The Buddha Within" by Lama Surya Das (aka Jeffrey Miller) which is a fabulous book. While that is not a psychology book per se, Buddhism is very much psychological in nature in and of itself.
My favorite book that contains insights of psychology and spirituality is "Yoga and The Quest For The True Self" by Stephen Cope (also a psychotherapist as well as scholar in residence at the Kripalu Center in Massachussetts). I found that I was able to relate better to the material in that book overall than the Ladner book. Stephen Cope's book is also not only incredibly informative but is written in a style that makes it a joy to read (I am currently reading it for the 3rd time and I know it is a book that will be an ongoing part of my spiritual life).
Still, if you are interested in the meeting of psychology with spirituality, I would recommend reading and trying to incorporate many of the ideas "The Lost Art Of Compassion" into your life. It is a very readable book in terms of it's language (you won't need to read it with an unabridged dictionary by your side) and the author does seem very knowledgeable and sincere.
Namaste
Rated by buyers -
An excellent guide to applying compassion in Western Culture. An excellent balance between theory and practical applications with a bias towards the latter. A heartwarming book that helps give us faith in ourselves and in others.
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