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Type of bind: Paperback
Dewey Decimal Number: 618.9289820092
EAN num: 9780071431941
ISBN number: 0071431942
Label: McGraw-Hill
Manufacturer: McGraw-Hill
Quantity: 1
Page Count: 304
Printing Date: January 21, 2004
Publishing house: McGraw-Hill
Sale Popularity Level: 588730
Studio: McGraw-Hill
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Product Description:
'Barbara LaSalle's new book . . . beautifully chronicles her own journey to understand her son with the encyclopedic mind and distressingly separate world.'
--Washington Post
Born with a superanalytical mind, Ben could store information like a minicomputer. Yet beneath his gift for facts lay a great fear of change and social aloofness. Ben had Asperger's Syndrome --a neurobiological disease similar to autism. Honest and beautifully written, Finding Ben is both a look at a mercurial disease and a powerful story of one mother's journey from frustration and resentment to love and acceptance.
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Rated by buyers 
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The book certainly was depressing but I kept reading it because the cover had promised a 'happy ending'. I'm sorry, but I did not see the happy ending. All I read about was Ben who had to struggle much more against rigid expectation than with his developmental disability. And his mother who went from "why is my son so different, I am disgusted by him" to "it is not my fault but he still disgusts me" to "look-at-me I can interact with my son without feeling disgusted and I am a 'tireless advocate for people with dissabilities'". I am sorry, but she needs to get over herself in the worst way. I know that is probably not entirely fair of me to say. I can accept Ben as a person with Aspergers and maybe I should accept that his mother is who she is. I would think that she is a Type A and going from trying to fix her son to 'I m an advocate - let's write a book about it', might be a huge improvement, but it is still the flipside of the same coin.
I have a son with high functioning autism and I can related to having your heart sink every time you realize how different your child ticks. I am awake at night worrying how his life will be. But I always knew that my job was to love and protect. Parenting will teach you about yourself but at the end of the day it is about your child not you.
Rated by buyers 
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Reads like a novel. Very honest. I would recommend this book to everyone I know.
I bought this book because my daughter suspected her child of having Asperger's syndrome. I knew nothing of the disease. This book not only helped me understand it, but it also gave me much insight into my own grandson's world.
I liked the way it was written. Simple and honest. Much better than reading a lengthy, technical book on the disease.
Read it, you'll gasp, laugh and cry.
Rated by buyers -
Finally, a resonant voice in the mire of books on special needs that isn't overloaded with technical detail. What distinguishes this book from others is that Barbara La Salle lets her anger, regret, and fury fly forth --an honest voice amid the cries by everyone else to "hush up, be strong, compassionate, and a veritable pillar of strength" even though deep inside you are cracking up.
Anyone with a special needs child faces frustration. Unfortunately, most of the books out there demand that you either take the countenance of Oprah Winfrey or Dr. Phil. Everything isn't okay, and Barbara LaSalle, who is both the mother of her son Ben and also a therapist, let's that old stereotype take a pounding. She talks about her regrets, her failures, and her slow acceptance that not everything about her son is her fault. Her son Ben also writes part of the book. His voice is important to show that people with Asperger's struggle, but have a conscience worth hearing and learning from.
Her story is moving, and it is also honest and shocking. I'd recommend this to all parents, spouses of Asperger's patients, as well as Asperger's patients because they have to understand that until you can identify your own anger, you can never move beyond it.
Nicely told, the only regret I have is that a bit more attention to editing and structure from a writing standpoint would have made it move a bit quicker and avoid some of the repetition that befalls it.
Rated by buyers 
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I have a high-functioning autistic son who is very like Ben in many ways, and I was horrified at this mother's attitude! While I applaud her for her honesty in admitting all her faults, I can't help but feel that Ben's life would have turned out very differently if she had accepted him as he was. This is the story of a great tragedy, the loss of 33 years of this young man's life.
I was a "goody-two-shoes" when I was a child, always trying to please the "grown-ups" and fit their expectations. But as I grew up, I realized that I would have to make my own decisions, ESPECIALLY when it came to my child! Obviously, this mother did not. No matter what my family said, no matter that the doctors accused me of being an "overly protective Mom", I knew my child was this way because of something internal to him, and that his behavior was not his fault!
When I finally found a doctor who recognized his autism (at age 4), I realized that the truism is correct; "a mother knows best." But even if I had not received the diagnosis, I would never have behaved the way this mother did. She betrayed her son because SHE wanted to fit in, to be a "good girl." This story broke my heart for the sake of Ben, and I am still depressed after reading it several days ago.
I believe that most mothers will love and accept their chid, no matter how strange he is. And I believe that is one of the most important things we can do for them! If you want to see what NOT to do, this is the book for you!
Rated by buyers -
This book tells the heartbreaking but ultimately uplifting story of a family's journey through the difficult issues presented by Aspergers. My recommendation, though, is that all parents should consider reading this book. It is a wonderful look at the frustrations we all feel, the self-doubt and self-loathing and even those moments when we wonder why we ever had children. I cried when I read this book, it is so brave and loving and heartfelt. Even if your child doesn't have special needs, you should consider reading this book for the wonderful honesty.
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