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Type of bind: Mass Market Paperback
Dewey Decimal Number: 362
EAN num: 9780380713059
ISBN number: 0380713055
Label: Avon
Manufacturer: Avon
Quantity: 1
Page Count: 224
Printing Date: February 01, 1991
Publishing house: Avon
Release Date: February 01, 1991
Sale Popularity Level: 1014
Studio: Avon
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'AM I LOSING MY MIND?'
People with Borderline Personality Disorderexperience such violent and frightening mood swingsthat they often fear for their sanity. They can beeuphoric one moment, despairing and depressed thenext. There are an estimated 10 million sufferersof BPD living in America yesterday -- each displayingremarkably similar symptoms:
- a shaky sense of identity
- sudden violent outbursts
- oversensitivity to real or imagined rejection
- brief, turbulent love affairs
- frequent periods of intense depression
- eating disorders, drug abuse, and other
self-destructive tendencies - an irrational fear of abandonment and an
inability to be alone
For years BPD was difficult to describe, diagnose, andtreat. But now, for the very first time, Dr. Jerold J. Kreismanand health writer Hal Straus offer much-neededprofessional advice, helping victims and their familiesto understand and cope with this troubling,shockingly widespread affliction.
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Rated by buyers 
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i would have given this book more than three stars if it could have gone into considerably more detail about how to live with a borderline. it has a brief chapter on the SET approach to living with or counselling someone with borderline. Support, Empathy and Truth, but to be honest there are times when this just does not work. so... more needed on how to live with and love ones partner, parent or whomsoever who is afflicted by borderline personality disorder.
it may take a long period of time before someone with BPD starts to display their BPD. you could have been coexisting happily for say five years, with long long talks about problems and fears about this and that, without any real rage been directed at you. as time goes on however someone suffering from BPD will start to shout at you, as if you were the enemy he were raging at. then you will be criticised and run down for not being good enough... for not caring and not understanding him. what started as a beautiful relationship gets very difficult. this is because BPD suffers see things in grey and white, without any shades of grey. you are either completely good or completely bad. even the smallest of mistakes turns you into a monster, and this will not be forgotten. there will be days however when all is fine and then other days (infact possibly every day) when you are seen as evil... after all the kind things he has done for you and you have done for him. this is since there is no contiuity in his view of the world. every day he has to prove himself to you and you have to again prove yourself to him. you have made sacrifices and they are all forgotten. every one of them. this is very hard for someone with BPD, but also disheartening and frightening for the partner who lives with him.
a BPD sufferer will sometimes truthfully tell you that he doesnt love you. he did at the beginning, but now he has begun to use you 'the bad guy' as a cross on which to pin all his pain and frustration. this is not love, the love has gone. and this tends to happen when there are stressful circumstances in his life.
BPD suffers are regularly suffering genuine stress related pain and physical ailment, boils on leges etc etc. as a result they are in and out of doctors surgeries. headaches, chest pain, palpitations. these pains make them worry and the worry eventually becomes abusive. BPD sufferers are quite often obsessive. the position of the tooth-paste tube is important on the sink. cleanliness can be very important. fear is a major factor.
like a child... one moment he loves you and the subsequent he is raging at you (switching). not i have to say his fault. this is an illness often resulting from an awfully traumatic childhood. it is hard to write sensitively about BPD, especially when ones ex-best mate has it.
i believe that if the raging becomes too bad that a partner must give him the option to undergo therapy, or to go into hospital, or if not she must leave him. at least thats my take on it. thats the truth. as with a child, structure and boundaries are need, but they MUST be stuck to. if you say something and dont do it, even though he tests your boundaries, inconsistency will lead to even more demanding, manipulating and testing. these things are not done willfully, but are largely emotionally driven and he is i believe unaware that he is doing them most of the time. it is very important to reassure him that YOU are unhappy that he is suffering so badly, and that this upsets you (Sympathy), you have to let him know that you know he is suffering, you can see it (empathy). and try whenever possible to speak the truth.
unfortunately in my experience boundaries were almost always brushed aside and ignored. my own needs and need for sleep and rest for example, a break from the giving out (lengthy one sided talks about the problems and evils of this and that). if he will not respect your boundaries you will need to take action, and this could mean leaving him.
borderlines think like children and even speak in a childish voice from time to time. it is very hard for them to see that their actions have consequences, but they need to learn this. its hard to balance sympathy and empathy with truth. but the truth is that this world is not a loving family, people are inconsistent. he needs to learn that people have their good days and their bad days, not to see them as all evil or all good.
the encouraging thing about this book is that it says there may be 'some' improvement in the borderlines behaviour, it may take a 'very' long time to see this, but it is possible that he may mellow through the years using the SET approach. it could however get worse. it must be noted that this book was written in 1989, and much has changed since then. i believe myself that medication will help him. (neuroleptics/antipsychotics) if he can be persuaded to take them. the Truth aspect of SET must ... Read More
Rated by buyers 
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I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality
I bought this book as both someone working in the field, and someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). This book was written in the 80's and is very outdated to begin with. What really got to me, however, is the way things were phrased. First, it links sexual orientation with a patient having an unstable self-identity. Personally, I am a lesbian and that is quite stable and has been for the past 10 years (I am 24 years old). It also links sexual orientation with sexual deviance. Enough said. Next, it mentions that a reason BPD is becoming more prevalent is because of women's changing roles: juggling home and career. That would be fine to say if it wasn't for the authors coming off like this is a problem in society, that women are in the workforce now. Perhaps the authors meant it differently, but to me, it said that women should be in the home and men should be at work. Overall, as someone who already had a background in this disorder both personally and professionally, I did not find the book useful. I have bought their second book, "Sometimes I Act Crazy," which I am hoping is more up-to-date and less biased.
Rated by buyers -
I was told I had BPD at a young age but didn't really understand what that meant..Borderline of what I kept asking but still never got a good answer. I came across this book and it was my life summed up. It helped me understand what I was doing and how to deal with it for the most part.
The end was a little dry but I felt better just knowing I was not the only person with BPD.
Rated by buyers 
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I have some borderline traits, and this book came highly recomended to me. I wasn't impressed at all. First, it simply needs updating to include newer medications and treatment options. That was a big thing that I noticed. The other major problem that I had with the book is that it seems much more geared towards people who know someone with BPD and not people who have (or think they may have) BPD. I walked away from the book feeling like I hadn't learned anything useful that could help me understand and work towards overcoming my extreme anger issues. Fortunatley, this is my second BPD book to read, so I did not walk away from it thinking there was no hope. The very first book I read was "Get Me Out of Here", an autobiographical book from a BPD sufferer, Rachel Reiland. I would definitely recommend her book over this one.
Rated by buyers -
this book is dated (published in 1989 a lot can happen in 20 years), and heavy on annecdotal recollections. for every nugget of useful information/advise, there are two or three examples of borderlines in action. these "war stories" do not offer much in the way of advice or coping options. anyone who has been in a relationship with a BPD (marriage/divorce, professional, friendship, etc.) knows the drill. I agree with the reviewer who advises "don't make this your very first BPD book". the book has value, but I found the helpful parts few and far between. put this fourth on fifth on your reading list.
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