Books : Shanda: The Making and Breaking of a Self-Loathing Jew

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Author name: Neal Karlen

 : Shanda: The Making and Breaking of a Self-Loathing Jew
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Type of bind: Paperback
Dewey Decimal Number: 200
EAN num: 9780743266314
ISBN number: 0743266315
Label: Touchstone
Manufacturer: Touchstone
Quantity: 1
Page Count: 224
Printing Date: August 23, 2005
Publishing house: Touchstone
Sale Popularity Level: 1242504
Studio: Touchstone




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Product Description:
Early in his memoir, Neal Karlen confesses, 'I love Judaism. It's Jews I can't stand.'

What he means is that he hates the parochialism, the whole Seinfeld of the Jews he knows from New York to Los Angeles, and he can't stand the thought of being identified as one of them.

Frustrated and embarrassed, Karlen stops looking for the Jewish enclave that fits him, and he simply rejects Judaism. And then one day, he goes too far: he marries a WASP. The marriage is doomed.

Shanda -- the Yiddish word for 'shame' -- is the story of Karlen's journey back to his Jewish roots, his faith, and his own self. His guide is an unlikely one: Rabbi Manis Friedman, the renowned Hasidic scholar. With Rabbi Friedman's tutelage and friendship, Karlen rekindles his Jewish spirit and begins to ask the questions that so many modern, assimilated Jews grapple with: How do we bring meaning to our Jewish practice? Where is the line between Jewish and too Jewish? Can you believe in Judaism even if you don't believe in God? As Karlen is led up the mountain to find these answers, Shanda offers a stunning and illuminating view from the top.





Customer Reviews
User popularity level:  out of 5 stars

Rated by buyers 3 out of 5 stars - A bit disappointing
In many ways, I could relate to the author not feeling like a part of a congregation in the Minneapolis suburb he resides in. Congregations in suburban North Shore seemed similar to what the author experienced -- ornate and fashionable but not very warm. What's frustrating about this story, which is filled with some good Jewish humor, is that the author's journey just didn't seem all that realistic.

He's disconnected from Judaism, in fact, he loathes it and practically himself for being a Jew. But his catharsis really occurs as he begins studying with a Hasidic rabbi he once interviewed for a story. He learns a lot from the rabbi, but there's something about the writing that never really relays just why he dove back into the religion and why what the rabbi did worked. In the end, though, he has a mild awakening whereby his character is redeemed when he invites his father to partake in a nearly-forgotten family tradition and he then successfully guides a young Hebrew student to a successful Bat Mitzvah.




Rated by buyers 5 out of 5 stars - A fantastic journey
This is a must read for all people who struggle with religion and have to deal with the "fakers" who give religion a bad name.
You don't have to be Jewish to understand Neal's journey back to the fold.

In my personal life, my wife and I struggle with those who forget what religion means. Karlen sums it all up with the "It's not Judaism that I don't like; it's the Jews." He follows up with his quest to me a "mentsch," which is Yiddish for an upstanding person. My wife and I couldn't agree more.

We live in a world yesterday where many of us have lost our moral compass. We judge wach other by what neighborhood they live in, the clothes on their backs, the car they drive and where they send their kids to school or camp. What happened to family values? Respect for our fellow man? Or the power of silence - when we should just shut up.

There's a little bit of Neal's Yiddishe Hartz (Jewish heart) in all of us. This should be a must read for all those trying to keep up with the Jones, Schwartzes, etc.



Rated by buyers 1 out of 5 stars - Wasn't quite clear to me where he was coming from
I agree in particular with what reviewer Adamchik aready stated about this book. The book would be more understandable to me if Karlen came from a less knowledgeable background. In fact, it's difficult to ascertain whether his background is Orthodox, Conservative, or somewhere inbetween. While there are people who were raised Orthodox who go "off the derech", that doesn't totally appear to be the case here. And then, Rabbi Friedman takes over the story. I've had the priviledge of hearing him speak - he is awesome, even if I'm not personally into Lubavitch. But all in all, the book seems a bit directionless, even if it is painful/funny at times.



Rated by buyers 5 out of 5 stars - Honest and moving
This is an honest and moving account of a man's journey away from and back to his Jewish roots. It's a story of redemption, and of the restoration of a father-son relationship.

You don't need to be Jewish (or speak Yiddish) to enjoy this book. In fact, gentiles may find that this book helps them understand some of the challenges and contradictions faced by modern Jews who seek to connect with their ancient faith.

Karlen's very conversational writing style makes this book an easy read. His own humor, plus one-liners borrowed from Henny Youngman and Steven Wright, provide comic relief despite the very serious issues addressed in this book.

At the end of the book I found myself wishing there were just a few more chapters (and perhaps a soundtrack album so we could hear this "nigguns" mentioned in the book). This is the story of a journey that seems to end before the final destination has been reached. Perhaps that's because the journey continues. But while it may seem a little unfinished, it is nonetheless a very satisfying book.



Rated by buyers 1 out of 5 stars - Dating Advertisement
I read the book. I kept thinking throughout, this guy is lonely, single, in his 40's, redeeming himself in the hope of finding a nice jewish wife.

I don't really believe most of his account.

This could have been posted on eharmony.

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