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Type of bind: Paperback
Dewey Decimal Number: 616.8527
EAN num: 9780609804155
ISBN number: 0609804154
Label: Three Rivers Press
Manufacturer: Three Rivers Press
Quantity: 1
Page Count: 320
Printing Date: May 18, 1999
Publishing house: Three Rivers Press
Release Date: May 18, 1999
Sale Popularity Level: 95056
Studio: Three Rivers Press
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Product Description:
Each year more than 17 million Americans suffer from a depressive illness, yet few suffer in solitude. How You Can Survive When They're Depressed explores depression from the perspective of those who are closest to the sufferers of this prevalent disorder--spouses, parents, children, and lovers--and gives the successful coping strategies of many people who live with a clinical depressive or manic-depressive and often suffer in silence, believing their own problems have no claim to attention.
Depression fallout is the emotional toll on the depressive's family and close friends who are unaware of their own stressful reactions and needs. Sheffield outlines the five stages of depression fallout: confusion, self-doubt, demoralization, anger, and finally, the desire to escape. Many people will find relief in the knowledge that their self-blame, guilt, sadness, and resentment are a natural result of living with a depressed person.
Sheffield brings together many real-life examples from the pioneering support group she attends at Beth Israel Medical Center of how people with depression fallout have learned to cope. From setting boundaries to maintaining an outside social life, she gives practical tactics for handling the challenges and emotional stresses on a day-to-day basis.
Amazon.com Review:
'Depression fallout' is the emotional upheaval suffered by the friends and family members of someone who's depressed. Because at any given time, 17 million Americans are suffering from depression, there's a huge number of people suffering from this, says author Anne Sheffield, the daughter of a depressive. She compassionately recalls situations discussed in her support group at New York City's esteemed Beth Israel Hospital to illustrate how 'co-sufferers' can successfully cope with their grief, confusion, guilt, and reduced self-esteem.
One of the most overlooked yet thoroughly damaged lots of depression fallout victims, she says, are the toddlers and children of depressed mothers. Children with behavioral problems at home and in school may be struggling for attention they don't get from a depressed parent. She writes, 'Although a depressed parent of either sex creates problems for a child, the bulk of the research on parental depression and its effects on young children has zeroed in on the mother, because she is the center of a young child's existence: the primary nurturer, teacher, and emotional and social contact. Ideally, a mother is a good listener, communicator, and problem solver; authoritative without being authoritarian; warm and consistent; and tolerant and patient. Mothers in the grip of depression are often just the opposite: harsh, critical, impatient, irritable, and unaffectionate. And because one in every four women will suffer serious depression at some time in her life--more often than not, right in the middle of her prime childbearing years of twenty-five to thirty-five--the research findings are applicable to a very substantial number of children.'
Without being flippant, Sheffield inserts bits of humour into the book. She describes what she calls 'sticky-flypaper depressives' as those who blame themselves for everything and anything that has ever gone wrong, whether it be a relationship, or, as one psychiatrist recalled from one patient's session, 'the bad Broadway season of 1947.' She also gives a thorough analysis of the many causes of depression, illustrates the five stages of depression fallout, and considers the benefits and downfalls of psychotherapy and how a fallout victim may be affected by it. Sheffield offers reassuring advice on how fallout victims can defuse stress and rebuild their self-esteem and social lives, abundant resources and references for support groups and informational organizations, and an extensive list of medications commonly used for the treatment of mental disorders. No matter what the age or relationship of the fallout victim, How You Can Survive When They're Depressed will prove to be a much-needed dose of sympathy.
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Rated by buyers 
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I found the book to be negative and in some circumstances, over-exaggerated. There are frequent uses of "many", and "most", and this book generally paints depressives as being difficult, demanding and fault finding. People can have ongoing problems with depression and not be selfish monsters. I think this book drives people apart and looks for blame. I even get the feeling that the author has a deep seated hostility for people suffering from depression. There are much better books on the subject that are much more constructive and STILL focus on the needs of those who are dealing with depressed loved ones.
Rated by buyers 
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It is so helpful to know that I can name what I am experiencing, and that I am not alone. The advice and coping strategies in this book have changed my life immeasurably for the better.
Rated by buyers -
I cannot praise this book enough. I have been dealing with my Husbands depression for the past ten years. I had been pulled down in to the grey hole with him, believing it was all my fault how unhappy he was.This book has made me realise that it's not me, and its not him, its this awful illness he has. On bad days when everything seemed so hopeless I could read another chapter of this book and feel uplifted. It was like someone had written this book about us! It offers no end of helpful suggestions for yourself and the one you love. It has helped me bring it to my husbands attention and encourage him to get help.Fantastic!!
Rated by buyers -
This book deals with depression from the inside out. It is very informative and insightful and a book I would highly recommend for anyone who lives with a depressed person or is depressed.
Rated by buyers -
This book can be a great help. If you are around someone who is suffering from depression, the load of everyday life can be terribly heavy. It helps so much to understand what is going on with your depressed loved one, but also to know that other people go through this too. The realization that you are not doing everything wrong, though the other makes you feel this way often, is very liberating. It can give you the strength you need to put more time and effort into helping the other conquer or understand their own inner tormentor. It can help you objectify the problem and your role in it, and protect yourself by keeping the necessary distance so that you don't get swallowed up by it - and sometimes even to walk away from it altogether if it threatens to destroy you. And if you can get the other to read it, too, then they can read a more objective - and less accusing - report on what life has been (or is) like for you, making it easier for them to understand what you have been going through, reducing the risk of an unproductive me-you discussion.
Though I tend to want to be self-reliant and think I don't need outside help, I don't honestly know if we (my then-boyfriend and I) would have been able to process, and leave behind us (and move on), the terrible period we had together had it not been for this book.
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