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Type of bind: Paperback
Dewey Decimal Number: 616.8527
EAN num: 9780684834078
ISBN number: 0684834073
Label: Free Press
Manufacturer: Free Press
Quantity: 1
Page Count: 272
Printing Date: September 18, 1997
Publishing house: Free Press
Sale Popularity Level: 296399
Studio: Free Press
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Many books have been written for those suffering from depression, but what if you're suffering becuase someone you love is depressed? Research shows that if you are close to a depressed person, you are at a much higher risk of developing problems yourself, including anxiety, phobias, and even a kind of contagious depression.
In this authoritative and compassionate book, psychologists Laura Epstein Rosen and Cavier Francisco Amador explain the mechanisms of depression that can cause communication breakdown, increase hostility, and ultimately destroy relationships. Through compelling real-life stories and step-by-step advice, the authors teach concrete methods that you and your loved one can use to protect yourselves and your relationship from depression's impact. Drawing on their own innovative research, the give sensitive guidance about how to recognize your needs, how to provide the best kind of support, and how to encourage the depressed person to seek treatment. Whether you are the partner, parent, friend, or child of a depressed person, you'll find this book and invaluable companion in you journey back to health.
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Rated by buyers 
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By the time I found this book, I had already read numerous other books and articles on depression. Most of the books out there are written TO the depressed person, but usually (certainly in my experience) the depressed person isn't interested in reading books! The book stresses getting clinical help, but in many cases that person strongly resists clinical help!
I was looking for practical help for myself. How do I keep myself from slipping into depression, and making a bad situation worse? How can I pull my loved one out of their shell? How can I overcome that person's resistance to professional help? What is the best way to deal with a fit of anger or sadness caused by the disease? These questions are not answered by this book.
If this is your very first book on depression, it might help you understand the disease better. But if you already know the basics, and are looking for help in caring for a person you love who has depression, it just doesn't deliver much.
Rated by buyers 
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This is a good resource, but a bit repetitive and not as user friendly as I would like. When dealing with a major depressive, you don't have the energy to wade through a lot of this book. A structure with "key info" and "in-depth knowledge", allowing the reader to get the most important information up front then go back for the details would be easier to use.
Ultimately, I wanted more focus on ME, the person who cares about a someone who is depressed, and less on the depressed person. There are a lot of good books out there for the depressed person. My expectations of this book were to have concrete ways to not "catch" the "contagious depression", to not "lose myself" as the subtitle suggests. After reading the book, I don't see how my interactions with my two majorly depressed friends over the last year could have been handled much differently. And I did catch their depression, and I did lose myself for a time. So while I feel more educated about depression in general, I still am looking for more and better ideas for protecting myself while still helping my loved ones.
Rated by buyers 
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_Maintain your routine as much as possible._ is one of successful techniques offered by Drs Rosen and Amador in this helpful handbook for people whose loved ones suffer from clinical depression. Although the book is well-organized and the tools are presented with clarity, some of us may have reservations about following all of the advice, _The experience of craving sexual release and having a partner who is not interested in sex can be very frustrating. It is important to acknowledge your sexual needs. If you cannot have sex with your partner, one solution is autoerotica._
It is the authors' intent to _provide you with information about depression, its treatment, and the help that is available_ Moreover, _provide examples of common reltaionship problems when a loved one is depressed._. I appreciated the simple and straightforward approach offered here. For example, the stages to healing are easier for me to remember because of the mnemonic TRIP. Trouble - difficulty with interpersonal interactions in the very first and typically, unnoticed stage. Reaction - an initial response that may be either conscious or unconscious. Information - gathering data about the problem, reading this book, a move away from denial. Finally, Problem solving - conscious response to the trouble based upon the data gathered. This TRIP through depression is described in relationships with partners, children, parents and friends.
The guidelines for support are presented with equally unassuming directness. First, the authors advise, have realistic expectations, and second, offer unqualified support. Third, is one you already know, maintain your routine as much as possible. Fourth, share your feelings and fifth, try not to take it personally. That is the most difficult one for me to remember and apply. I can get so frustrated at times that I forget about the context of the situation. Having read this book has helped me to keep its simple advice in mind. The last two suggestions provide a way out of the problem for everyone involved. Six, ask for help. Seven, work as a team. I don't feel that I am facing my difficulties alone when I know that there is help outside of the relationship and support within the relationship. Keeping these guidelines in mind has helped me to understand depression as just one more problem that a family or friends face together. There is a chance that this can make us stronger.
A drawback I experienced with this book is that the guidelines are applied systematically to the point of redudancy for each class of relationships. On the other hand, I was surprised to discover that depression is contagious. From reading this book, I came to realize that the depression that I experience clearly can affect those who live with me. After this discovery, I was motivated more strongly to cure because the someone I love who is depressed can very often be me.
From a spiritual perspective, I find that I am most vulnerable to depressive episodes when I lose hope and faith. I have found tools in WHEN SOMEONE YOU LOVE IS DEPRESSED that have helped me maintain a stronger spiritual commitment, and a way to help those I love. If you are interested in depression, relationships, psychiatry or sociology, this book may be interesting to you.
PEACE
Rated by buyers 
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Someone I care for has just gone into a major clinical depression so I've been reading everything I could get my hands on to understand both him and the impact on me and our relationship. Of all the books I've read, this one was least helpful. Perhaps if I'd just hatched out of an egg and had no experience with life, it might give me information I didn't already have from living every day. It is so simple-minded, condescending and addresses the obvious so blandly - I felt it was a total waste of money. Anne Sheffield's book on Surviving when They're Depressed was a godsend - as was Terence Real's on men's depression. This one - gave me nothing at all. I don't usually slam things but this was useless in my opinion.
Rated by buyers 
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This is a must-read book for anyone struggling to understand a loved one's depression. You'll learn the do's and don'ts of caregiving. But more than this, you'll learn the importance of trying to maintain your own mental health and sense of normalcy, in the face of what can be a debilitating illness impacting all members of the family. A lot of the advice is common sense, the kind of thing your loved one's psychiatrist might tell you--if only he or she weren't so pressed for time. Plus it's nice to know you can help your loved one without trying to be Superman or Superwoman. In fact, the very first step to helping your loved one is to realize that you (and the rest of the family) have needs as well. So be nice to yourself and get this book. And then hang in there. Your family really CAN triumph over depression!
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