Rated by buyers 
-
Anne Clinard Barnhill, born in 1952 relates the story of her life as sister to Becky, who was born 1/31/58. Becky displayed autistic behavior almost from infancy. She became continent at 4; was marginally verbal for the very first few years of her life; communicated by phrasing her statements as questions, e.g. "Does the Becky want to eat? Why can't the Becky learn at home?" Anne, 6 years her sister's senior took Becky under her wing and was lovingly protective of her. She even spent her summers working with Becky on cognitive skills.
Sadly, precious little was known about autism in those days. Becky was erroneously labled as "emotionally disturbed" and even retarded. Sadly, this was not uncommon back then. Becky's schooling was also a problem - in 1965, she was expelled for disruptive behavior from one special needs class in West Virginia and saw a therapist. One group home refused to take her until she became fully self-sufficient in toileting. Although continent and reliable, Becky still needed help cleaning up. Once she mastered that skill, Pressley House, a group home/school was willing to accept her after placing her on a waiting list.
On October 1, 1966 the Clinards took Becky to Amos Cottage, which was an interim placement. Becky served 9 months in Amos Cottage which sounded like a genuine hellhole. Nurses ran the place and the lowest functioning children were kept in crib-cages with bars across the top. Becky talked of the "water babies in the basement," which sounded like she meant children with hydrocephalus. She was able to describe Amos Cottage, which sounded horrible. The Clinards were horrified by the place as anyone would be, but sadly there was no other place forthcoming for Becky.
In June of 1967 after a nearly 9-month sentence in Amos House, Becky enjoyed the annual family camping trip; had fun dodging her sister and sneaking off to the pool which was verboten and in general loving the outdoors. Despite many of her unexplainable behaviors, Anne remains loving and tolerant of Becky. I like that.
Becky's behavior remains severely autistic. She pulls dolls apart until they are limbless and headless; she flips any object in her path and she gives her sister the nickname "Jet," explaining that she thinks Anne's face is jet-plane shaped. (Kind of makes you think of Paul McCartney & Wings' song, "Jet.")
Anne talks about her own milestones; her love of the Beatles whom she discovered in late 1963; her boyfriends; her schools; her crushes; her peers and how they all related to Becky. I like the way she describes her response to the events of the day, e.g. Viet Nam War (she had classmates and friends who were drafted); hippies and the music and the family Ford Galaxie, a singularly cool car. One funny story involves how Anne and her friends got stuck in that Ford and rescued it, with great music from 1968 as the soundtrack.
Anne introduces readers to her family. Readers are treated to both sets of grandparents, aunts and cousins as well. One of my favorite parts was when the girls' mother would sing Beatle songs and emphasize the "yeah, yeah, yeah" chorus in the 1963 classic, "She Loves You." It just goes to show you that nobody could dodge that Beatle influence! Becky's classmates wanted her to choose Beatle songs for her ballet recital. The Beatles remain a comforting presence throughout the book.
Despite their vastly different needs and personalities, the sisters really do, as the Beatles said, "Come Together." Readers get to follow Anne down her growing up years and experience into adulthood; at the same time readers follow Becky's progress as well. Becky weathers some major storms, including abuse at a group home when she was 9-11.
Becky's sentence at Pressley House ended in 1971. Then 13, she went onto a special program at the local high school and secured a diploma in 1979 for merely attending. She worked at area sheltered workshops before she entered a group home in 1990 at age 32.
Readers get to cheer Anne's successes as well; a successful second marriage; a blessing of 3 sons; her degrees and her courage and candor in sharing her life and that of her immediate family. Readers are encouraged by Becky's progress as well. Their story has helped lift the Dark Curtain of the Dark Ages that acted as a barrier towards appropriate placement and diagnosis for people with autism. Sadly, few options existed in those days.
In addition to the Beatle parts which I readily identified with and understood, I like the way Anne Clinard Hill opens each chapter with a passage from "The Wizard of Oz." This classic is one she and Becky have loved over the decades and do to this day.
This book makes me think of the song "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" from "The Wizard of Oz." Readers cannot help but think that in time the Path to Acceptance and recognition of autism is closer than over that rainbow and is tangible, not illusive. I am one of the people who thinks that. I like the way Becky accepts herself as well and I think this is one of the best books I have ever read about a sibling who has autism.
Rated by buyers -
This book explores the often unnoticed side of being a so-called 'normal' (or 'neurotypical') person who loves someone with a mental disorder, namely autism. I found this memoir refreshing in the way that it unapologetically gives voice to those of us on the other side of the coin--those of us who have done our best to stretch our love outside of the box by often putting our own needs on hold to be good family. This book will especially appeal to baby boomers who have grown up with autistic siblings during a time when the disorder was still unnamed, as it addresses the historically inaccurate 'parental blame' theory of the disorder's etiology. I would recommend this book to anyone who has been touched by someone with a mental disorder, and anyone who considers themselves an advocate for the mentally ill.
page 1 of 1