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Type of bind: Paperback
Dewey Decimal Number: 241.6765
EAN num: 9780849919183
ISBN number: 0849919185
Label: Thomas Nelson
Manufacturer: Thomas Nelson
Quantity: 1
Page Count: 208
Printing Date: January 01, 2008
Publishing house: Thomas Nelson
Sale Popularity Level: 141109
Studio: Thomas Nelson
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Editor's Notes and Comments:
Product Description:
Helps couples who are thinking about getting engaged know if they are ready to offer or accept a marriage proposal.
In Before You Get Engaged, authors David Gudgel, his son Brent, and Brent's girlfriend Danielle interact in a discusion that not only reveals twelve relational indicators indispensable to a healthy, lasting marriage, but fleshes them out with dialogue and insight straight from Brent and Danielle's journals. Designed to help daters know if engagement is truly the best subsequent step in their relationship, the book is divided into four sections:
- Part 1: Are You Sure You're Ready?
- Part 2: Do You Make a Good Couple?
- Part 3: What Do Others Think?
- Part 4: Now What Should You Do?
Before You Get Engaged will help readers know if they are ready to ask the all important question, if they should date a little longer, or end the relationship and move on.
User popularity level:
Rated by buyers 
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Getting engaged is a big deal. My boyfriend was the very first to bring up pre-engagement counseling. I'd never heard of it. Funny enough, when I ordered this, I didn't realize it had that bent to it. It was really helpful in laying out a few things that should be considered. One thing I really enjoyed about it was that the author wrote it with his son and his son's girlfriend who were trying to decide whether or not to get engaged. It was neat being able to "hear" their take on things as well. I'd really recommend this book to any young couple considering getting engaged. I'm 31 and my boyfriend is 35 so (just from an age sense) we've discussed most everything in the book already...things we've learned from past relationships, etc. But it was a good reminder for us.
Rated by buyers 
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This book is perfect for Christians considering engagement. It is also helpful if you are in a serious relationship and wondering if it should continue. There are two great chapters that address the issue of whether Christians should marry non-Christians and they give biblical support to show how important it is for people to be spiritually aligned before marriage. A lot of problems can be avoided if this book is read before getting engaged! There is also helpful information about remaining pure for marriage, and more biblical proof that this is what God expects. I highly recommend this book to all kinds of believers, whether you are a brand new Christian or have known Christ for ages :)
Rated by buyers -
this book is great!!! it helped me tremendously as i've been making some big decisions about my future and what i want. it is clearly written and not too wordy, which makes it easy to read. and i never got bored with it! i would read for hours at a time! and now that i'm done i keep looking back at sections that i highlighted for reminders.
more specifically, it really helped me to gain focus about if i personally am ready to be making a marriage decision. it also gave me clear ways that i could examine my relationship, to figure out if "we" are ready. this book is full of wisdom that is just great life knowledge to have, whether you are thinking about marriage, have a friend who is, or hope to be thinking about marriage one day.
i definitely recommend it!
Rated by buyers -
I picked this book up when I was going thru a tough transition in my relationship. I was in Brent's shoes of diving into a relationship way to fast and way to far. We didn't start with God at the center. We were at a point where things were bad. We wanted to turn things around and heal the wounds from a self indulgent relationship. This book was among a few that really helped me have clarity and restore my faith in Gods ideas of a relationship.
Rated by buyers 
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So, having reached a point in my relationship, which is about 2 weeks away from the third year anniversary, I have been participating with my S.O. in serious discusion of engagement. Being one who puts A LOT of thought & reading into my most serious life decisions, I have been looking for alternative perspectives. Basically, I wanted an informed, expert opinion on how a person in my situation could guide him- (or her-) self through the questions that should really be asked when reflecting on the issue of getting engaged. I wanted an expert who would say things like "Most people fall into the trap of thinking about A ... or worrying about C ... but a mjority of these people considering engagement completely miss B, which is the thing that really ends up being what should have been asked to avoid eventual divorce".
Unfortunately, what I thought I was buying was not what I received. For the sake of full disclosure, I should note that I had waded through about a dozen other pre-engagement books that were based on religion and decided to pass. Why? Because I was raised a staunch Catholic and felt I knew what they were going to say. Frankly, I do not need to spend my money and time to read advice that I could get with a call to my father and/or Polish-Catholic mother.
What I am upset about is not so much that this is a Christian book. There are plenty of people who would benefit from reading books written from such a perspective. My problem, however, is that I did not want to buy a book of religion-based advice. Given how overtly Christian the book is - that is, not more than two pages goes by without a bible quote or a mention of God and Christian values - I feel that this book is purposely being marketed to hide its true nature. As obviously Christian as the writing is, I thought I had mis-read (or too hastily read) the description before electing to buy it. Now going back to its description (and the sole review of it that has been posted), I realize I was not hasty, instead I feel that I was duped. If you read Amazon's editorial description on this book, it does not give a clear impression that it is religion based. One has to read the description page carefully to note the connections with other religious materials (I suppose I should scrolled the page far enough to have attended to the discusion forums). Silly me, I thought the editorial description would be enough. My mistake.
Truth be told, beyond my annoyance with mistakenly buying this book, I am reading it. I figure that I can keep an open mind despite my personal decision to live my life without defaulting to religious principles as the basis of my decisions. So, I have read it to see if perhaps there was some wisdom to be taken from the author's perspective. Unfortunately, aside from wading through the Christian dogma, I find this book and its advice to be incredibly naive. When I am considering marriage, I want to know the practical, everyday issues that come between two people who thought they loved one another enough to commit for a lifetime but somehow lose sight of that love. I want to know why even the most devout Christians decide to get divorced. I want to know what can go so wrong that even a strong belief in whichever religious or philosophic framework one chooses can not save the marriage ...
... what I do not need is a book that serves as yet another platform for a Christian to spread the message of Christ and the teachings of the bible.
Truth about this book - for those who want some relationship advice based on real couples and real sociological/psychological evidence - it does not deliver what is promised. When you can predict the main point of each paragraph from the very first sentence (especially when you prediction is based on a full knowledge of Christian dogma), then the book isn't worth the read. The father gives advice based heavily in biblical dogma from the Christian tradition. The voice of the son and girlfriend that are utilized as a unique 'hook' for the reader ... well ... it theirs are the voices of a couple in their early-to-mid twenties who have been dating for all of 18 months (and admit they began discussing marriage after only two weeks of dating).
If, like me, you have the situation of having spent the better part of early adulthood (I am now 34 years old and have never been married) expressly NOT rushing to "find the one" and get married ... if you, like me, are prioritizing making an indepedent decision of your own (as opposed to one based in someone else's pre-established ideals) ... if you, like me, are thinking of marrying a divorcee who has already made the mistakes of getting married for the wrong reasons ... if you, like me, reject the bible as an authoritative reference as a source of 'evidence' ... this book will do little to address your pre-engagement thoughts and concerns.
The only reason I gave ... Read More
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