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Type of bind: Paperback
Dewey Decimal Number: 158
EAN num: 9781572243286
ISBN number: 1572243287
Label: New Harbinger Publications
Manufacturer: New Harbinger Publications
Quantity: 1
Page Count: 200
Printing Date: 2003-11
Publishing house: New Harbinger Publications
Sale Popularity Level: 3892
Studio: New Harbinger Publications
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Product Description:
Although relatively common, Borderline Personality Disorder, or BPD, is often overlooked or misdiagnosed by therapists and clinicians and denied by those who suffer from it.
Symptoms of this tragic problem include unpredictability, violence and uncontrollable anger, deep depression and self-abuse. Parents with BPD are often unable to provide for the basic physical and emotional needs of their children. In an ironic and painful role reversal, BPD parents can actually raise children to be their caretakers. They may burden even very young children with adult responsibilities. They tend to demand unreasonable levels of emotional and material support from those least able to provide it. Plagued by irrational fears and anxieties, BPD parents often transfer feelings of self-hatred onto their children. salting the wounds inflicted by their insatiable need with constant denigration and abuse.
If you were raised by a BPD parent, your childhood was a volatile and painful time. This book, the very first written specifically for children of borderline parents, offers step-by-step guidance to understanding and overcoming the lasting effects of being raised by a person suffering from this disorder. Learn what psychological criteria are necessary for a BPD diagnosis and identify the specific characteristics your parent presents. Discover specific coping strategies for dealing with issues common to children of borderline parents: low self-esteem, lack of trust, guilt, and hypersensitivity. Make the major decision whether to confront your parent about his or her condition.
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Rated by buyers -
I read this book, and kept notes beside me as I touched on how some of the content was relevant to my mother... and discarded what didn't really relate. (kinda like going to a Chinese Buffet).
Obvious at times, the book talks about the pattern of our parent's life and our life as their child... the pattern that has always been there, ebbing beneath the surface. The clinical names for episodes in our lives, the specific scenarios, and suggested lines of thought... all stretched your mind toward a better SELF AWARENESS and UNDERSTANDING of a loved one in your life who is ill.
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I especially liked the boundaries portion.
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Pontificating and understanding is a good personal step... but don't cuddle up with the pain and emotions here in this book. This shouldn't define who you are...
After a couple of months... I re-read the book... thinking of my siblings, and what traits and flaws each of us developed as cooping mechanisms to survive such a self involved parent.
After another couple of months, then I re-read the book... thinking of myself... and my own child (currently pregnant).
What do you do with the knowledge depends upon your strength of character and personality... knowledge for the sake of knowledge or righteousness or even indignation would only exacerbate the family situation. A quiet knowing and goal to always improve yourself is all that you can expect of a self help novel.
I recommend the Tao of Pooh. I recommend looking at the patterns within your own life and taking responsibility for them. And if you are a person who draws strength from your church community... I recommend that time and energy as well.
GOOD building block book... but don't fall down the rabbit hole.
Rated by buyers -
At last, a voice and a reasoning to make sense of the chaos, drama, physical, emotional violence of my parents and my own inner dialogue as an adult from this toxic environment. If you are willing to do the work and wish not to repeat the family dynamics, this is the book to guide you.
One of the best resources written on this subject; gets to the heart of the issues from all aspects and provides a mental and emotional reprieve from the pain.
Rated by buyers 
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For those who have suffered for years and not found help because not much was known and the illness had no name until the last 25-30 years, this is a very practical handbook.
Rated by buyers -
I actually HAVE Borderline Personality Disorder and ran across this book in searching for others to help me learn more about the disorder. I have 2 young boys and am determined not to let my problems become a part of who they are and damage them but I couldn't find a book that dealt with how to be a good mother in spite of BPD so I read this book to see what children who were raised with a borderline parent had to go through so that I could avoid those pitfalls. Thankfully I was able to correct some behaviors I didn't even know I was doing, before I harmed my babies emotionally. Maybe the authors of this book would consider writing a book for those of us trying to do better while being a parent, maybe "How to Parent, when you have BPD" or something like that? Anyway also I wanted to add that my mother who has a mother with Bipolar also found this book VERY helpful.
Rated by buyers -
I carry this book around with me in my purse because it feels like a good friend I've been searching for, for 50 years who finally understands. Very helpful, I am finally hopeful about living the rest of my life with joy in it.
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